I Reached Out for Grounding, and My Body Had Other Plans

Welcome, to being human. We are all built differently, processing and learning differently. So many factors and variables contributing to how we deal, handle and manage life. I'm sharing a reflection from an experience I was trying to make sense of which took my body 2 days to get over but yet I am still ruminating.

The take away from this read: eventually as time passes, your body and mind will catch up to one another - and eventually you can overcome the discomfort. If you introspect often and see things in a positive light, experiences can become a learning opportunity to assist you to better handle future situations.

Overall, I think I'm extra sensitive to certain interactions both in person/over the phone and digitally. This blog is a personal reflection on how I recognised what my body and mind was going through. If it does not vibe with you, please gently move on and live your life.

This particular experience starts on rubbish bin day, I noticed my bin was used. Something I was not expecting and in all my 34 years of my life I have never experienced. My body immediately felt a discomfort response. My amygdala (the part in my brain that communicates a fight or flight response) had triggered. Why am I so bothered by this? I can now label that I felt my boundary was breached and because there was no communication about it, it left me stunned.

My neighbours and I are on good terms and we help each other out. Cut to the chase, I did end up chatting to my new neighbour to check in with how they're doing and if they're settling in okay, to which they brought up using the bin and we are on the same page that it is all good and we're building a rapport.

Anyways, back to the uncomfortable feeling. As I questioned why am I bothered? I thought of reaching out to the local mums group to seek perspective on whether I let it go and am I being difficult for being bothered? I thought this should help me resolve the uncomfortable feeling - surely these people are supportive and nice.

I got mixed responses (which is expected) some said, 'on bin day, on the curb, if not full it's fine', some said 'neighbours help each other out' (absolutely! but I just had not connected with our new neighbour yet which would have contributed to my sudden reaction), 'they could have asked', which I would have appreciated (but I get we hadn't built the rapport yet and it was bin day) and the two that I remember that affected my body to stay in alert mode for almost 2 days (not trying to sound dramatic, but this is an unnecessary amount because I could have been thinking about more productive things, rather than thinking about a strangers comment). My brain said "that's chill, their response is their's, they don't know me, don't take it personally, you're trying to learn", my body still reacted and again the amygdala is sending off fight or flight signals. 

As much as my brain and I were saying, who cares, it's chill, the body kept reacting, but also, I am constantly ruminating over these two responses.

Why am I now bothered by strangers and two (what I perceived as 'negative ish vibed' not neutral) comments?

I went about my day, doing house errands, taking the kids to school, trying to sort out my flat car tyre which took 3+ hours to complete. Around 2 hours after the initial uncomfortable feeling, I recognised that my body finally caught up and I feel back to my baseline (no more adrenaline or fight or flight feelings).

Well, I stumbled across my post to the mums group and saw a glimpse of those comments again and it sent me back into fight or flight. Again, even after breaking it down, trying to make sense of it, discussing with my husband, reading the group rules, trying to understand why some people respond certain ways, chatting to my neighbour to ensure we are all good, keeping busy, my body still reacts into the night.

After we put the kids to sleep and try to wind down to go sleep ourselves, my body could not help but be in alert mode. Literally any small sound or movement, I'd get a shock and it was hella annoying. 

Eventually, my body got over it the next morning. But now I keep ruminating over those comments, I then remember other experiences in life where interactions just didn't quite flow as expected and threw me off. That same pattern of my brain accepting and acknowledging what happened but my body taking a while to catch up. It was tiring.

Over the weekend we took the kids to the botanical gardens and to the beach. It was amazing, the kids had heaps of fun, I was able to get grounded but... still ruminating. 

Is it meant to be common sense? Are these things learnt somewhere or it just comes down to each individual with how they manage things? I guess I connected the fact that I pay the rates and felt ownership of it. I could've googled my concerns and came across a Reddit thread 3 years ago to read all those different comments that are the same as the responses I got from my post. There are all those various but same category same vibed responses. But I get it now, this is how it makes sense for me, still each to their own regarding neighbours using each others bins there is no set right or wrong but I believe it comes down to respectful communication and agreement amongst each other.

At this point of writing this blog, it is hitting day 4. I'm getting there. I know eventually it will fade. How my body processes these certain situations which it doesn't happen often but when it does and as I have been super aware of over these past few days, it's tiring and I just look forward to being back at my baseline and going about my life not caring what other's say or think (because that's them, not me, I knew my intentions) but that's humans for you, we're all so different.

Let's just try to be kind to one another and respectful. Communication is key, communicating with grace. We're all just trying to live a life where we can belong and feel safe in.

Thank you for reading and taking a moment to reflect with me.

Please note: this blog reflects my own personal experience and understanding. It isn’t a substitute for professional advice. If you ever feel concerned about how you cope or manage things in life, speaking with your GP or another trusted health professional can be a helpful first step. 

I’ve chosen to keep comments closed to help protect this space from online noise, but if you connected with what I shared or would like to share your own experience, I’d genuinely love to hear from you.

You can reach me directly at contact@itsworthmytime.com.au